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new Icon [Monday
September 5th, 2005 at 6:26pm]
HEy I got I new Icon. It doesent match with the backround. (im getting a new latout soon) but leave me something if you like it*


August 22nd, 2005 at 9:49am]
[ mood | words cant describe how I feel ]

It seems like everything lately has happened to me..but this one..is the worst.

I have been balling my eyes out for the past 10 hrs, not being able to sleep because of this and I love erik so much but...

I finally got the guts to tell him how I felt.  THis is exactly what I said "erik I want to tell you straight up...ever since we stopped going out...i still reallly liked u and i never stopped.  and when we were going out, you stole my heart, and you still have it, and you mean everything to me, and the only reason I went out with other people is to try to get over you, but i can't and I...i...love you.." and he said he just wants to be friends, which is ok, because I can work on that.  and we were talking and all that.  We talked online, on the phone.  but here's the bad part..

At exactly 12;47 am, erik told me he liked shelbie.  he told me he would like to go out with her, and he told me that he REALLY likes her, and he told me he's sorry but I hope i understand all this.  At that point, I didn't know what to say.  Then him and shelbie get into the "oh i like you, do you like me?" crap.


I have loved  you erik since the beginning of 5th grade.  I never stopped and I never will. could u just..open you'r eyes? Im in love with you.  Forget about all the fights and all the crap people say, I don't care. You have anything and everything that I want.  Word's cant express how I feel for you.  Everyone knows it.  Even your own mother knows that I love you.  I thought that the person I loved, would'nt be the last to know all this. I could say I love you a million times and it wouldn't max my love for you.  Do you know how many papers i have saying "I love erik" on it? whoa! I can and will ball my eyes out for you, because you are worth it.  The way you look at me and smile at me makes everything bad go away and the rest of the day is just perfect. YOu don't even have to look at me.  Just..say my name, or call me or talk to me online.  That makes all the pain anybody else gave me go away because of you.  I can't even imagine how my life would be without you in it.  I have done so much with you.  You came into my world, and you are my world.  Yeah, that may sound weird cuz were only...12? but...I love you..I can't say it enough and there's no other way to say it. The 9 months i went out with you were the best month's of my life, because I was with you.  WHen I see you, or when im with you, my knees get weak, i can't breath that well, i get really happy, my stomach are in knots, and i can't talk, i don't know what to say, i even get giggley.  But all those things that come to me when I'm with you..are signs..of love.


I love you so much.. Please..don't do this to me. 


family reunion [Sunday
August 14th, 2005 at 7:57am]
[ mood | anxious for next year already! ]

I just got back frm my family reunion. I went to northport rite by lake Michigan. it was the prettiest thing i have ever seen. my parents told me that i was there when i was really little, so i didnt't remember it. all of my mom's side came. i got to see my family from florida and california, which i may go to one during winter break :D It was so great. My cousin's sarah jessica and david are like the best. their older, (23 25 and 27) but i still can hang out with them. sarah is an artist, she had an art show b4 she came, jessica travels, and david flys planes. he said one day he would fly me in one. and my aunt and uncle from florida are like the best. im not gunna get into every detail cause it would take to long, but i cant wait to see all my family again.

It was sad to leave, but...ya.
but the + is i will prolly go to cali. or florida for winter break and stay with my family!

love me

and...me and Charlie are going REALLY great. :D


July 28th, 2005 at 6:32pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

<<Friends Only>>

 All others will be towed.  


July 6th, 2005 at 9:26pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. * What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?* People live, but people die.
And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow , you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back. You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you if you consider them a friend as well. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend,
someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and .. always will.. I LOVE YOU!!!!



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